Two sheep walk into a bar - no into a pasture, that's it

Two sheep in a pasture

Sheep1 is somewhat older, experienced some would say.  Sheep2 is young and energetic. 

Their shepherd is called two legs.  Sheep1 is giving Sheep2 a brief orientation since he's new to the flock.

Sheep1:  I think you'll like it here.  2Legs seems to be a good sort.

Sheep2:  What makes you think so?  I've heard of some of these two legs that are completely worthless.

Sheep1:  Well I'd stick close to him if you know what's good for you.  I know some of these two legs don't deserve our company but this one does.

Sheep2:  In the flock I came from across the valley there was a two leg who ran away every time a wolf came 'round.  Can't say that I blame him.  We're all running 'round in circles when one comes by and I have no idea what that accomplishes but no one can think of anything better.

Sheep1:  Well this two leg carries a big stick but it's not made of wood.  He calls it rod.  Why anyone would name a stick 'rod' is beyond me.  I don't say I understand these two legs but I know a good one when I see one.

Sheep2:  So what's the stick for?

Sheep1:  Oh, my mind wanders some.  Almost forgot what we were talking about. 
A while back a wolf came round.  Of course we all start running in circles hoping the wolf will attack someone else. 
Just then the two leg does the strangest thing!  He runs up to the wolf who's about to pounce on young Sally, and whacks the wolf up the side of the head with the stick. 
There was a loud crack that sounded like someone stepped on a walnut and the wolf fell on the ground.  Then the two leg hits him again across the back.  The wolf never moved again.

Sheep2:  Is this two leg crazy or something?  Seems like the best thing to do is run when a wolf comes.  I think there should be something better than running in circles but running seems like the best policy to me.

Sheep1:  I can't say I understand it either but I'm glad he does that.  And that's not all.  A while back when I was about your age I had eaten some strange grass that didn't agree with me at all.  Terrible gas!!  I thought I was going to explode!!  Nobody wanted to be near me.  Can't say that I blame them.  I could hardly stand myself.

Sheep2:  I had that once.  It was awful!!  

Sheep1:  Well I saw some good grass on the other side of the ravine that I knew would settle my stomach.  I was in such pain!!  The good grass didn't look very far off and I could even smell it!!  It smelled SO GOOD!!  I decided I could get across the ravine, eat enough good grass to settle my stomach and be back before anyone noticed.
The flock had always crossed the ravine further down, and it seemed easy enough, so I thought I'd be able to go across here just fine.

Well the ravine is much different up here.  It was very confusing and steep.  I slipped off the side and tumbled down into some bushes and was completely tangled up.  This hair we've got it great stuff for keeping you warm but it's murder to get tangled up in bushes!!

Sheep2:  I've seen that.  Once I saw a poor chap who died in the bushes and birds ate him!!  Gives me the shivers just to think of it!

Sheep1:  Well I was facing that very same fate or worse because I could hear wolves howling in the distance.  I couldn't help but crying out for help even though I knew the wolves could hear me too.  I didn't know what I was thinking because I knew the rest of the flock couldn't help me and the two leg, if he had any sense, would take the rest to safety.

Sheep2:  Would it do any good to run in circles?

Sheep1:  I was caught in the bush!!  I couldn't run in circles!! 

Sheep2:  Oh, right, sorry.  Please go on.

Sheep1:  So there I was trapped in the ravine.  Wolves coming.  No one to help!!!

Sheep2:  You're a gone'r.  Wait you're here so you must have got out!

Sheep1:  Brilliant!!  Yes, I got out.  The two leg left all the others in the pasture and came looking for me.

Sheep2:  WHAT!!  That's just stupid!  Why would he do that?  What makes you so special?

Sheep1:  I have no idea.  But he did - and that's why I'm here telling you this.  Stay close by the two leg! 

Sheep2:  Does he ever hit us with the stick?

Sheep1:  No.  I thought he might when he found me but he picked me up and carried me back to the flock.  I was totally embarrassed but glad to be alive.

Sheep2:  Once you got back did he treat you any differently.  Did he tie you up or put you in a pen.  I was in a pen once.  It was awful!!!

Sheep1:  No.  I got to run freely with the rest of the flock.  I've never seen him put anyone in a pen.

Sheep2:  He is a strange one!  But I think you're right, I might like it here.